anxiety ii

I spend so much time
counting the minutes in the day
waiting til it's over
just so I can sleep
and wake up feeling better tomorrow

I did the dishes today
a small win against my brain
that seems to freak out
over everything
both big and small
on the bad days

I get so restless
and tired
feeling like I have to do
everything
and getting so overwhelmed
I end up doing nothing
because nothingness
won't give me a panic attack
though it doesn't
make me feel good either

Today I aim for small things
small wins
while I try and ignore the clock
that's counting time to bedtime
in the worlds slowest increments
because I only feel okay
when I'm asleep

© Indie Adams 2022