Masculine

A brutally honest capture of such a grey area.

Violence isn't always synonymous with masculinity, but it's definitely an unsympathetic factor. The olde nature or nurture? Even though he was the gentlest of men, my Dad boxed for the Army back in the day. He taught me a few pugilist skills, and to the surprise of the Nation, I was surprisingly handy. My previous guise 'Trouble Loves Me' holds  regrettable & shameful episodes of football hooliganism. Not something I even understand myself.

Domestic violence is the hidden shame of every continent.  

I heard somewhere that domestic violence rates go up during “important” football matches, so one country v another or one’s personal team against another. Violent urges always need to go somewhere.

Very valid point. I have seen grown men with responsible careers actually frothing at the mouth at a defeat.

Hooligan nonsense is all tribal & regressive. Best left to sociologists to discuss at their coffee mornings.

Sometimes we are taught by our fathers. I thought I could not be that man either. Then I got married, and watched in horror as all the all examples he set of "Act this way toward your spouse when you're stressed" suddenly sprouted out of me and I began to make our happy family a nightmare of continual anger and repeated yelling. I became the traumatizer of the woman I loved. Trapped in a self of my worst nightmare, imitating the way my own abuser, my dad treated my mom. When she said enough is enough, it's over, get out, I could have broken down in tears and have "Thank you," so grateful was I to understand that I would no longer have this happening to me, but it wasn't appropriate thing to say, and I was as heartbroken as she was at what I'd don't to our marriage. 5 months later I started taking hormones. 4 years later though she and I are very tight, very friendly, very active together as co-parents to our son, and have regained a platonic relationship based on the solid footing of that.    
    
I thank god my father never hit my mother in front of me, though last year my sisters told me he more than once hit her in front of them.