balk

 
in my fear I awoke to a nightmare
cringing inside and weeping
losing myself I started to slip
into the darkness no grip on reality

it hurt this place of desolation
no, hurt doesn't describe this pain
I was grieving wave after wave

I send out my soul to find my spirit guide
I could only faintly hear him
return home he said

I had left with no regrets
jumped into the land of Nod
guns, violence, oppression
hell on earth

I bear the weight for three days
I couldn't take it anymore
even suicide didn't seem an option
though I toyed with the notion
my skin was heavy and tight
I felt the weight of my flesh and I balked

into the frying pan
where I was reminded I'm all too weak
the world is harsher than I remember

back home I am reminded to be grateful