deepundergroundpoetry.com
Midnight Nightmare
we're born into
fiction
with no
book of lies
and truth says
its sorry
the myth's in your eyes
will you still love-
when the poetry
dies?
sold as fast-food
containers
(eat while you cry!)
electric finger-tips
once
lit-up-a-room
-feeling
hard-rocks
heavy-knocks
long-blonde-locks
now
a catastrophic mess
of nothing
to play
and fiction
is fiction
but needs to have walked
an uneasy path
to come
to a page
never a muse
or really short fuse
it was pumping in veins
of blood
spilled
through
every-day
use
.
was it an act of God(s)
I don't know-
it's hard to say!
Published 11th Apr 2022
| Edited 12th Apr 2022
Author's Note
best read in a sort of slam / reading method I 'spose.
call it grandpa rap or some such thing lol.
call it grandpa rap or some such thing lol.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 12
reads 349
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Apr 2022 12:23pm
11th Apr 2022 12:22pm
… grandpa rap tho. Let’s just take a second for that. 🤣🤣
Stanza 2… 🎶 we’re born into this world with no book of rules, welcome to the hard knock school… they sayyy that’s lifeeee… 🎶
The short, sharp delivery of the lines here work well, and I guess that’s very reflective of the slam style you were going for. It fires the thoughts individually and makes the rhythm very clean.
This is a very classic old style you piece. I’m digging it.
Thank you for number 12… you’re ahead 😜
-M
Stanza 2… 🎶 we’re born into this world with no book of rules, welcome to the hard knock school… they sayyy that’s lifeeee… 🎶
The short, sharp delivery of the lines here work well, and I guess that’s very reflective of the slam style you were going for. It fires the thoughts individually and makes the rhythm very clean.
This is a very classic old style you piece. I’m digging it.
Thank you for number 12… you’re ahead 😜
-M
14th Apr 2022 8:35am
hello
once again, I can't thank you enough for being in my pages, in terms of readers, you're the very best kind!
well I can shuffle the "slim shady, please stand up" ... that's grandpa enough, ain't it? lol
that stanza 2 jest, my word, I hadn't realized it, and now I can't get it out my head! lol it's funny how that happens.. they sayyy that's life..
thank you for spotting the delivery, it was quite daunting trying to deliver this so the tone would flow to the reader.
In terms of style, I've playing styles of late, I feel it's an important thing for my poetic journey, not to get to stuck on a single style. I realize the greats did that, but I think my work benefits from change and finding abstract. So yes, we have to keep honing the old while we slowly drop some new styles in between... Been thinking of poetic styles to a bit like languages, there's always a new one to play with.
thank you for being here, reading and sharing thoughts!
blue skies madam
Al
once again, I can't thank you enough for being in my pages, in terms of readers, you're the very best kind!
well I can shuffle the "slim shady, please stand up" ... that's grandpa enough, ain't it? lol
that stanza 2 jest, my word, I hadn't realized it, and now I can't get it out my head! lol it's funny how that happens.. they sayyy that's life..
thank you for spotting the delivery, it was quite daunting trying to deliver this so the tone would flow to the reader.
In terms of style, I've playing styles of late, I feel it's an important thing for my poetic journey, not to get to stuck on a single style. I realize the greats did that, but I think my work benefits from change and finding abstract. So yes, we have to keep honing the old while we slowly drop some new styles in between... Been thinking of poetic styles to a bit like languages, there's always a new one to play with.
thank you for being here, reading and sharing thoughts!
blue skies madam
Al
11th Apr 2022 2:13pm
This reminds me of looking at dance styles over the years, or how bathing suits have changed so much......or how we used to be able to buy an appliance that lasted 40 years.....it's not just that things are built for planned obsolescence... it's that we ourselves can't or maybe don't want to keep up with change. What does it change into? What does it abandon? Have we gained anything along the way? Are old things old because they work?
14th Apr 2022 8:39am
Hello Sir
I'm intrigued, you've taken from this write exactly what I set out to write about. The continual evolution of anything (in this case poetry) relies on humans being able to adapt and accept change. being able to continually cross boundaries and set new ones. With AI growing at the speed it is, truth is we better all grow a set and start adapting! Let that be said.
Thanks for popping in and leaving your wonderful thoughts on the page!
Blue Skies @ You
Al
I'm intrigued, you've taken from this write exactly what I set out to write about. The continual evolution of anything (in this case poetry) relies on humans being able to adapt and accept change. being able to continually cross boundaries and set new ones. With AI growing at the speed it is, truth is we better all grow a set and start adapting! Let that be said.
Thanks for popping in and leaving your wonderful thoughts on the page!
Blue Skies @ You
Al
14th Apr 2022 11:48am
11th Apr 2022 5:37pm
Dear RA,
I tried to rap it out. I regret to admit it was a dismal failure on my end. I don’t think I’m a rapper grandma style or otherwise. But, I did try it as a folk tune style and have to say I think it worked.
The poem itself has me reflecting that perhaps the era into which we’re born is ours. “Progress” as we grow older can be advantageous in some respects and intimidating in others. I thought this piece was especially thoughtful and the closing stanza prayer-like. Great write. H🌷
I tried to rap it out. I regret to admit it was a dismal failure on my end. I don’t think I’m a rapper grandma style or otherwise. But, I did try it as a folk tune style and have to say I think it worked.
The poem itself has me reflecting that perhaps the era into which we’re born is ours. “Progress” as we grow older can be advantageous in some respects and intimidating in others. I thought this piece was especially thoughtful and the closing stanza prayer-like. Great write. H🌷
14th Apr 2022 8:44am
Hello H
Oh wow, prayer like... well I'll keep that. Thank you!
I'd be intrigued to hear your folk version, lol I'll do the granpa rap verse, you hit the granma folk chorus and we can rock these halls! lol.. I jest,
I agree our era from the time we are born! is progress = success? or they different things? Is the coming of new ways of doing things a spectacular opportunity or does it slow us down?
all these and more to mull on
thank you for popping in H, I love seeing your handwriting on my poems, your comments are always so insightful!
blue skies your way!
Al
Oh wow, prayer like... well I'll keep that. Thank you!
I'd be intrigued to hear your folk version, lol I'll do the granpa rap verse, you hit the granma folk chorus and we can rock these halls! lol.. I jest,
I agree our era from the time we are born! is progress = success? or they different things? Is the coming of new ways of doing things a spectacular opportunity or does it slow us down?
all these and more to mull on
thank you for popping in H, I love seeing your handwriting on my poems, your comments are always so insightful!
blue skies your way!
Al
12th Apr 2022 5:53pm
ahhh tried trippin over that rap; electric finger tips going tap-a-tot-tap;
the veins them pumping and the me walking an uneasy path - convincingly catastrophic as the fast food containers belched out its truth bout being so sorry to see me rap thus ! :)
delectably scrumptious piece AL !! love the untarnished angst.
the veins them pumping and the me walking an uneasy path - convincingly catastrophic as the fast food containers belched out its truth bout being so sorry to see me rap thus ! :)
delectably scrumptious piece AL !! love the untarnished angst.
14th Apr 2022 8:47am
hello you!
thank you for your very kind comment, and the laughs between the words, love it!
I had to giggle at the image of disgusted fast food container lol
Thank you! for being here!
blue skies at you
Al
thank you for your very kind comment, and the laughs between the words, love it!
I had to giggle at the image of disgusted fast food container lol
Thank you! for being here!
blue skies at you
Al
13th Apr 2022 6:00pm
14th Apr 2022 8:48am
I fucking love that you said what you said!
good on you, sayin how you feel!
blue skies at you
Al
good on you, sayin how you feel!
blue skies at you
Al
14th Apr 2022 4:06pm
