deepundergroundpoetry.com
The mountain air
The struggle is real
Her mind filled by toxic rot
They never cared.
By how much she feared
The end of her life was near
Never more to see moonlit nights
Nor sunsets for her to stare
Ardent eyes glisten no more
She sighed as blood soaked the floor
No one could repair the light that once shined oh so bright
Now dimmed and disappeared
No one would listen to what was written
Her suicide filled the
mountain Canyon air.
Her mind filled by toxic rot
They never cared.
By how much she feared
The end of her life was near
Never more to see moonlit nights
Nor sunsets for her to stare
Ardent eyes glisten no more
She sighed as blood soaked the floor
No one could repair the light that once shined oh so bright
Now dimmed and disappeared
No one would listen to what was written
Her suicide filled the
mountain Canyon air.
Published 4th Mar 2022
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The author encourages honest critique.
This is fucking magnificent!
What I'm enjoing as you post more, is how your true inner voice is starting to reflect in your writing, raw and there! I love that!
There used to be marvelous poet in the underground here, I think he's retired now...
But he would always say...
"The point is to be utterly human on the page"
I think you did that here with this one. So yes love it!
That said, the very sad topic here and the content is haunting and if there is truth in it, I just want to say
thoughts are with you friend. Tread lightly at the moment and look after yourself.
Fist pump at you!
Al
What I'm enjoing as you post more, is how your true inner voice is starting to reflect in your writing, raw and there! I love that!
There used to be marvelous poet in the underground here, I think he's retired now...
But he would always say...
"The point is to be utterly human on the page"
I think you did that here with this one. So yes love it!
That said, the very sad topic here and the content is haunting and if there is truth in it, I just want to say
thoughts are with you friend. Tread lightly at the moment and look after yourself.
Fist pump at you!
Al
10th Mar 2022 6:47am
