Relapse: Now what do I do?

I thought I was fine,
I had made it so far.
So why am I back at the beginning,
And nothing to show.
It happened so fast,
Before I even realized it.
One minute I was sober,
The next I'm passing Tina back.
And I couldn't end there,
No that would be too easy.
I made 2 shots,
Made them shoot me up.
Now I'm back in the rooms,
Right where I belong.
But not as who I was,
Just a newcomer....
I don't know if I can do this,
Do it all over again.
It took everything out of me,
Just to admit that I've failed.
Now I have to say it every day,
In every meeting.
It'll be too much,
And drive me back to her again.