Illusions and delusions chasing men

Oh, how I curse your name
your boyish charm
and sleek physique
as I curse my very nature
for pretending lust is really love
To see you is to ache
hating myself for being wet
I've tried so hard, so very hard
pretending I don't care
only to throw it all away
And I ask myself why
as I chase a shapely ass
hoping this one will be the one
praying lust will turn to love
Pretending all the while
that you'll love me
when morning comes