Into My Mind 4

This mind of my...
This mind of mine I pretend is not real
My challenges and difficulties I conceal
Urged by a culture
That mocks how I feel,
A society that says
"You do not need those pills"
Workplace, school, friends, and media outlets
Suggest neuro-divergence is a weakness
So I put on a mask
When I feel someone's gaze
Pretend I'm up to the task
When I'm rapidly losing my grasp.
Yet, you wonder
Why some decide on suicide?

In school I sit on my hands,
"Look straight ahead,
Sit straight, shut up,
Take your notes, do your work
I must sit still and pay attention!"
Torture, but I have to
Fake my mental stimulation.
No one can see this battle I wage
Every second day and night.
Accepting that I am lazy
Like so many...I mean none at all.
Dammit! I hate it when my façade slips!
Yes, those four words are just
Imaginary, if I try harder they will
Just disappear entirely.

"You just like making excuses,
Don't be such an crybaby,
You're weird, you're lazy,
Why are you such an attention whore?
Loner, dork, cheater, stoner
Will you be my pill dealer?"

Simone Biles chose mental health
Over the world's entertainment wealth.
The gymnastics Queen,
The darling of mainstream.
Yes! Our fight will finally be seen!
But even in her greatness,
The undisputed greatest,
ADHD is still just a weakness.
No one realized that without
Focused eyes, the way she flies,
She could have died.
That is why we have to hide

This mind of my...
This mind of mine I pretend is not real
My challenges and difficulties I conceal
Urged by a culture
That mocks how I feel.
A society that says
"You do not need those pills."
Workplace, school, friends, and media outlets
Suggest neuro-divergence is a weakness
So I put on a mask
When I feel someone's gaze
Pretend I'm up to the task
When I'm rapidly losing my grasp.
Yet, you wonder why some
Decide on suicide?

So I put on a mask
When I feel another's gaze
Pretend I'm up to the task
When I'm rapidly losing my grasp.
Yet, you wonder why some
Decide on suicide?
We are two peas in a pod,
But I was cut off and lost.
Forced to perform to conform
And told I am not allowed to be me
Struggle and battle, with nails and claws
To hide all the flaws behind a mask
Just to carry out everyday tasks.
Too scared to seek a diagnosis
Because I know the consequence is
Cruel, cruel wickedness
But for some, without a prognosis,
The only way to silence the mind
Is alcohol and Xanax.

That is why I will not wear a mask,
I am up to the task of finally
Being ME
Authentic, goofy, spacey, random,
Creative, emotional, passionate,
Resilient, and Expressive.
Taking my pills, writing with skills.
Trudging along side my world-wide tribe!
This mind of mine, yeah it drives me to madness,
This mind of mine I would never trade,
Because this mind of mine
Absolutely, unapologetically has
ADHD and I will no longer hide!
I just thought you should know.