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I don’t know how to say I am lonely,
Thinking of all the things you’ve shown me
And how I’ll never see them again with you…
Such things, such flavors as I never knew
Until you showed me what it was to ache,
And now I am going to bed—
I don’t want to be awake
Between the lines of all the things you said.

I tried to see you from your point of view—
If only you could see you from my own, too.
What could make me want to leave, if anything,
For my heart from the way your silences sting
That hold me where you are not
It’s the only thing I’ve got
To feel like I am in your arms inside my mind
If only you would pretend to be kind.

Nothing will make me want to leave
And so many things make me want to believe
That I am not going insane with all this pain.
I am still as the skies,
Without your Heaven in my eyes,
And I can’t help but think its madness
That keeps me from making progress
Toward letting you go for even an hour—
Sealed in the life of a dying flower
That I would gladly give to you, although
My life depends on letting you go.

I don’t want to let go.

© 2021 Marten Hoyle