deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sidetracked
I traced the lines upon my face,
To the tracks inside my brain;
That take me to a special place,
Where I can feel no pain.
I board my train of thought,
That was long ago derailed,
To a place I long forgot—
On a ship that I once sailed.
And as I lifted up the veil,
To drive the nail in the coffin,
It softened up my gaze,
Which became so pale and hardened.
I smiled to myself
From inside of my secret garden;
And lied beneath my shell,
Until the sky no longer darkened.
I've found a sense of inner peace,
That I refuse to part with—
Hidden within my memories,
Is a beautiful catharsis.
To the tracks inside my brain;
That take me to a special place,
Where I can feel no pain.
I board my train of thought,
That was long ago derailed,
To a place I long forgot—
On a ship that I once sailed.
And as I lifted up the veil,
To drive the nail in the coffin,
It softened up my gaze,
Which became so pale and hardened.
I smiled to myself
From inside of my secret garden;
And lied beneath my shell,
Until the sky no longer darkened.
I've found a sense of inner peace,
That I refuse to part with—
Hidden within my memories,
Is a beautiful catharsis.
Published 19th Dec 2021
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likes 13
reading list entries 4
comments 7
reads 580
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Dec 2021 4:59am
19th Dec 2021 6:32am
Dear NB,
I’m convinced within myself it doesn’t matter how I get there but when I do that inner peace will be a sweet relief and no one will take it. If they try it will have to be from my cold dead fingers. I loved the rhyming in this write. It’s so mature. This is an awesome message for those of struggling to achieve this gift. Beautiful poem.
H🌷
I’m convinced within myself it doesn’t matter how I get there but when I do that inner peace will be a sweet relief and no one will take it. If they try it will have to be from my cold dead fingers. I loved the rhyming in this write. It’s so mature. This is an awesome message for those of struggling to achieve this gift. Beautiful poem.
H🌷
19th Dec 2021 3:45pm
You train of thought is consciously conscious in the word play of life ...or death
19th Dec 2021 9:32pm
Hey, NewB
Your thesis is a poignantly healing one, and just in time to abort the potential self-destruct that worry can bring. Your response to the evidence (those worry or ageing lines on the face) is a surefire way of securing a better future, while you still have mastery over your destiny. The metaphoric "boarding of your train [of thought]" substantiates your resolve to end your own pain. What is marvelous is that, instead of seeking self-hurt, you find a better way of escaping your misery -- repose in that rest of the soul that no external factor can give or take away from you.
Your iambic tetrametre affords an unencumbered and easy flow to your thoughts, clothed in simple alternate rhymes. I feel a hint of the musical genre known as the Spiritual, in which the train and boat motifs represent the means of transport out of the land of chaos to the land of peace. In OT writings, the chariot is a more familiar symbol of escape.
I already know that you know the only One Who is able to give that "Peace that passes all understanding." Wonderful catharsis.
cab
Your thesis is a poignantly healing one, and just in time to abort the potential self-destruct that worry can bring. Your response to the evidence (those worry or ageing lines on the face) is a surefire way of securing a better future, while you still have mastery over your destiny. The metaphoric "boarding of your train [of thought]" substantiates your resolve to end your own pain. What is marvelous is that, instead of seeking self-hurt, you find a better way of escaping your misery -- repose in that rest of the soul that no external factor can give or take away from you.
Your iambic tetrametre affords an unencumbered and easy flow to your thoughts, clothed in simple alternate rhymes. I feel a hint of the musical genre known as the Spiritual, in which the train and boat motifs represent the means of transport out of the land of chaos to the land of peace. In OT writings, the chariot is a more familiar symbol of escape.
I already know that you know the only One Who is able to give that "Peace that passes all understanding." Wonderful catharsis.
cab
30th Dec 2021 7:51pm
NB, you always bring a refreshing perspective with your poetry. Your verse is reflective and profound, left open to interpretation which becomes relatable to the reader with their own experiences. It's truly a great way to tell your story and connect with others.
Great work.
Great work.
Anonymous
16th Jan 2022 9:13pm
Hey NB…….sounds like you’ve discovered a place of solitude within you……..it’s a beautiful place for sure……..enjoy it……purple luv & hugs xo :)
18th May 2023 7:05pm
... it’s so rare ... enhancing its own value even more ... I appreciate this peace
