Dear, God.

The days get longer as my life gets shorter.
I do my best to maintain but there's never any order.
I've given up on most things, an apathetic overdose.
I barely give a fuck about this world but it seems to be a fuck more than most.
Heartbroken and tired, my grandpa died a few hours ago.
He raised me like his son when my pops stepped out like a ho.
I miss him already, I'm tired of the fucking loss.
My bed is no longer for sleep but a place to turn and toss.
Once a relief now sleep is my enemy.
When the thoughts take over there is no defending me.
When I heard the news it smashed me like a brick.
Knees to the floor, curses to the sky, shattered and sick.
Why the fuck do you take so much from me, God, what is the purpose?
Yes, I've made a gang of mistakes but I don't fucking deserve this.
You better look out for him and throw my dog some treats.
You better answer some prayers for my homies in the streets.
To threaten God is stupid that's just a fact.
Although to predict certain defeat wouldn't stop my attack.
I'm falling off, God, I'm really starting to struggle.
You call all plays in this game and leave me out of the huddle.
Just give me a break, give me one solid year.
A break from the loss and the pain, release me from fear.
You almost have it all, everything that has mattered.
You leave me only with questions and a life that's been shattered.
You've never acknowledged me, not even a sign.
So I think you'll understand when, as your boy, I resign.