The Ten Commandments (A 21st century edition)

The Ten Commandments
(A 21st century edition)

You shall have no god before me
(apart from money right ‘cos money makes the world go round )

You shall not follow false idols
(Excluding celebrities and generally anyone influential or powerful)

You shall not take the lords name in vain
(It’s only words though in’it?)

Remember the sabbath and keep it holy
(Again man it comes down to brass tacks yo, mans got mouths to feed)

Honour your mother and farther
(Yeah yeah, i know, I know)

You shall not murder
(Unless state sanctioned)

You shall not steal
(Unless it’s done in a lawful way, then technically it wouldn’t be stealing)

You shall not commit adulatory
(Unless she’s being a bitch and not putting out, mans got to eat yo)

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
(Listen, if he’s gonna talk shit about me, I’m gonna talk shit back. It’s self defence bro)

You must not covet
(So what, I can’t want things? I want what everyone else has, I want more than they have, I want the most, I want it all