Stupid as Hell

Stupid as hell
Mind won't serve me well
Doesn't let me do a thing, they can tell
 
Some call me lazy and others do not
Several know that a choice it is not
But it's not my fault, fault I have fought
 
I've had three weeks to do this damned thing
Yet I seemed to be trapped inside a drug ring
Narcotics- metaphorical, and my soul they sting
 
I move and I move and yet no movement goes
All that I have is my sickening prose
This is not the path that I chose
 
I tell my mind go
My mind tells me no
Thinking that the better it'd know
 
Stress and fatigue I can't even see
I love being busy and busy loves me
But busy's only busy when busy's a bee
 
"I never have time,"
I cry and I whine
Yet I sit here and write and use all of mine
 
I practice, I scream
I create, and I lean
But the moment that I have a task, I can't breathe
 
Hands clutching my skull
Intimidation annulls
No external pull
 
Stress makes me hurt
And stress is a jerk
But stressed I produce some of my best work
 
Leave it all for last
I procrastinate fast
Yet I know that it is no fault of mine, alas
 
Something in my head
I'm staying in bed
Something in my mind is going unbred
 
I need something more
Because life is a chore
And every movement seems like a bore
 
I love to do one thing and hate another
How can I make all these things my lover?
Life is too hard, can I choose one other?
 
I hate my brain
It makes me insane
I'm losing it and I haven't washed my mane
 
I could go on
For I am always drawn
To write a verse or two instead of awaiting dawn
 
This thing is so long
Am I doing it wrong?
Though I suppose words are where I belong
 
Something in my mind
I do tend to find
Is not where it should be, it isn't inclined
 
To do its job well
To keep me from hell
To get up and go, that's what it should tell
 
I feel like mud
For that I break rhyme
For now I have wasted much more of my time