Wish I'd Jumped Ship

 An ink-tone puddle or bottomless well?
Your love is so daunting
Depth few could admire and perhaps I am no different
  as I drown in those sapphire eyes, full of intrigue
Reluctant to explore this shallow bay,
   yet feigning ignorance to threats I receive
Bliss eludes conscious minds so I pretend you’re perfect
   and uncover my soul to give you all you need
I’ve learned to observe this world from below,
   so used to sinking on my own
For once I feel complete

   Things as I see them now, are not as I once believed
Promises she’s made dissolve in my palms
   and our truth is always out of reach
Her affection ebbs and flows, coming and going in phases
   and false cries render me weak
Though when I refuse to let go, she throws me a lifeline
   while I’m disabled by remorse and the weight of being blamed
My lover, my siren – she’s fooled me again

   A sailor, a soldier in my own right
Circles I trek for you led to regression
My lungs implode, burdened by this tension
   as great waves carry our memories to the grave
I wish you’d swallow your pride,
   but excuses are all you provide
Searching for the reason why you’re content to lose me
Thrown to the wayside, helpless as my life is capsized

   In your presence I am soiled and succumb
Alone alongside this rotten heart
   just me and my abysmal thoughts
Hoping to find some sleep, I slip under in this cruel stretch
   plagued now that I’ve found what lies beneath
A traitor to myself, I dove in blind

   Her pleasure is my distain
A high she obtains only when I am low,
   her fix lies in seeing me suffocate
Amid this whirlpool of lust and rage,
   I admit I’ve come to terms with our sin
Strung out along her piercing shore,
   my horizon’s never felt so bleak
Imagine not knowing a life with me by your side, dear,
   an eternity lost in a dream
Though such a thought vexes her not
   as my beloved siren lures me out to sea