Programmed

They wrote it on my DNA  
From my mother’s mother’s mother  
And all those aunts and uncles  
The deacons, elders, teachers, preachers, leaders  
They wrote me wrong:  
 
“He’s weak, so be responsible”  
“Don’t cry” “kneel down”  
“Listen” “obey” “because I said so”  
“sinner” “he died for YOU”  
“Thou Shalt Not” … “shalt not” … “shalt not”…  
“Be a good girl”, “say ‘sorry’”, “bow and pray”  
“OBEY!”  
“You must Forgive!!” Forgive, forgive…  
 
(from infant, to girl, to breasts that grew)  
 
Walk the line, speak OUR “truth”  
There Is NO you!  
REMEMBER: please, not pleasure  
“That’s right, Kneel down, Apologize…”  
Meek is pretty  
Femininity  
Yesss…bow…  
seek PERFECTION  
“Desire? NO! Desires don’t belong to you!”  
Oh, Their desires? Honey, they can’t help it…  
 
GIVE  
F O R G I V E  
don’t live  
don’t be  
Just see  
OTHERS  
…  
…  
…  
years  
…  
free  
…  
me  
…  
yet haunting whispers of the child’s ghost  
remnants of her twisted DNA  
Echoing cellular repercussions  
Through into  the now  
…it’s complicated…  
(“May I have a rewrite?” I meekly plead)