ANATHEMA

your silence
confirmed
my wickedness --
my light
shone cold and black
as sin
and how i begged
and wished
and wanted
and how you never heard
a word i said --
just turned
your kindly head
and looked to save
more worthy souls

and how long
i knelt there
wanting
and how hard
i tried to conjure
the mighty god of love
that he might
slay my demons
and send me
on my way,
blessed
and emanating the bright warm
joy of salvation

and how quiet
that goddamned
church

and how my conscience
railed