Chasing a dream

Success comes at a cost
When you chase your dreams
It seems that everyone you love, doesn’t
They start to disappear left and right
Those “how are you”’s feel ever so forced
The more you tell the less the talk
The less they talk the less you feel
The less you feel the less you talk
The less you talk the more you realize
They don’t care
They never have
The ones you truly believed cared
Hurt you the most
When they stop talking
I gave everyone the heads up
And instead of people trying to talk to me more
They talk less
I’ve been given this amazing opportunity
Chasing my dreams
Making a name for myself
And everyone’s gone…
I’ve got 22 days left…
And the last conversation with my brother
Ended Bc he answered a text from yesterday
With “damn”
It took 24 hours to respond huh?
The last convo with my friends ended
With “Okay”
5 days ago
My best friend someone I thought of as a brother
The last time I talked with him…
Was ages ago…
The last conversation with the one I loved…
Was a huge misunderstanding that I can’t fix
And you know what… when I get back
And I finish college.
Get start my own shit
Accomplish my dreams…
Once I’ve fulfilled everything I promised myself…
I’ll look back and see when you all left…
I hate that everyone wants me to fail
My mother’s side disowned me
My father side keeps tryna convince me
To follow their ideals instead
I admit I changed my mind a bit
From an accountant
To military
To game development
Back to military…
But here I am…
Joining the military doing what I wanna do
Getting my benefits
Going to college after for game development
I’ll do what I want…
I’ll get that house I want
I may not find a wife…
But I’ll adopt kids if that’s the case…
I’ll do everything I want the way I want
“You need to have realistic dreams”
They are realistic…
Just cause you don’t understand how shit works
Doesn’t mean I don’t…
Watch… give me 10 years…
By the time I’m 30 or 40…
Everything will be accomplished
I’ll have completely fixed up and tuned up my truck
Customized it
I’ll have that house
I’ll have those kids
I’ll have my dream car
I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted
I’m willing to put money on it
Fuck you and you non believers
You liars and fakes
I… hate myself for letting my emotions control me
Especially when it came to that one girl
That one friend too
I could see my life so clearly with them in it
But now… it’s burning
Like those prom pictures
Like every memory
I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to remember
I just want to live the way I want
I want people to love me for me
Money has no value to me
I just want something real