Sorority Mummy

 
The oldest reported case was in nineteen forty-four
When a sorority was hosting a Halloween gathering
A mummy snuck into the costume party looking to score
It was said the features and details were staggering

One of the pledges was curious as to who it might be
And invited the mummy outside for a quick little peck
But she was never seen around the rest of the party
In the morning she was found dead with a broken neck

On Halloween night back in nineteen fifty-five
I Eta Pi was having their annual get together
Some of the sisters had ditched their beehives
For full on bird customes dressed with feathers

A strange mummy limped right into the house
And the ladies thought it was the funniest thing
But in the morning one of them resembled a grouse
Bitten, half eaten and looking like a chicken wing

Then it was rumored that in nineteen sixty-six
A sorority was hosting a special Halloween ball
Many folks were doing drugs and had acid trips
When a real looking mummy broke through a wall

As everyone swayed and danced one of the sisters
Went to flirt with the mummy over by the shed
Smiling and tossing her hair she said, “Hey mister…”
But in the morning, she was found bound and dead

On Halloween night in nineteen seventy-seven
The sisters at a sorority threw the college’s biggest bash
The guys from the frat house thought they were in heaven
When the drunk girls would give them a quick flash

Disco was blasting and everyone was happily dancing
Until the mummy showed up boogying as well
Then one sorority sister had to go flirt and chancing
And as you can imagine, no one ever heard her yell

About seven years later back in ninteen eighty-four
A party was hosted by Epsilon Zeta Sigma Epsilon Chi*
All costumes were scored upon entering the door
So everybody was looking pretty fresh and fly

Well, in came in a strange mummy walking a little funny
Swaying it’s shoulders and hips until a girl went to say hi
Yup, she’s dead, if you guessed it’s right on the money
But this one was found gagged and without one eye

I went to a sorority party back in nineteen ninety-three
I was a sophomore at a state university, so no I’m not rich
That year for Halloween I dressed up like a drag queen
And not to toot my own horn but I was a very sexy bitch

I was dancing when this mummy started freaking on me
When I said “fuck it, it’s college, might as well indulge”
Then the mummy lured me into a closet behind a pantry
That’s when it tried to fondle me but it felt my bulge

“I’m a boy” I said in my deepest manliest voice
But in the dark I could feel the mummy give a wince
As I held on to the bandages it ran out making a noise
And well, the mummy hasn’t been seen ever since


#theonethatgotaway
#neverassumesomeonesgender
#college
#funtimes