Battle ready

Over time a fear a developed like a picture in a red room,
Filling my brain with thoughts of impending doom.
 
Sending my heart and brain in a constant battle,
A fear so intense your soul will rattle.
 
I built walls up to limit the damage,
Unfortunately feelings cannot be banished.
 
I took a risk with you,
Praying you would turn the fear into something new.
 
Like the fear overtime the walls crumbled,
I tripped over my heart strings and stumbled.
 
Falling for you like a shooting star,
For awhile the fear seemed so far; away.
 
As soon as the fear subsided,
It was quickly reignited.
 
We were doing good, planning on tying the knot.
When suddenly our relationship became an afterthought.
 
I could feel your heart pulling away,
Slowly it made my mental state decay.  
 
Using our heart strings like a tight rope I was loosing my balance,
Physically you were there but I could feel your absence.
 
Looking back I know I could have done so much more,
But if I was the only one battle ready then what was I fighting for?