Holding My Breath

I fall asleep at night
with one white-knuckled hand
clenched around
my last vapid breath.
Indellable, yet frail
amid my callused grip,
It challenges my resolve.

The premonition winds
begin to seep and thread
like stitches 'mid the wound.
A gelid cough I've buried deep
just to watch it rise
like fog above the river styx
as calming waters crave
the folly of human touch.

A choked back hack
I've swallowed whole
to honour stubborn pride,
but, know
I feel the searing burn
between the hollow gasps
beneath my placid dreams
and I envy ev'ry nightmare.......