PHOSPHENES

You see it when you close your eyes
Harder
Press harder with your eyelids
Maybe press your hands into your eyes
Try that
Push against the thoughts
That are telling you to stop
Push until you see them
The glittery sparkling phosphenes
The lights that let you know
You are still alive
Push out all the darkness
The blackness that hides
beneath your skin
Bring forth all the light things
The bright things
That pulse, a ringing in your ears
Push to forget what you’ve seen
Harder to put it away
Harder until you fall away
Fall to sleep, maybe
Let the light and dark shapes
Mingle in the blackness
Push
Until you can’t
Harder
Until you cry
Until mom comes in and
Tells you to stop
You’ll damage your eyes
And you scream that you don’t care
Because it’s better
Than what you’ve seen
What you’re running from
When you close your eyes
And push