Powered By Pride

Nolan grabs his belongings and leaves History Class. His high school experience had been what some would consider “normal,” but Nolan didn’t feel that way. He had been hiding something, fearing a part of himself and pushing it down. He walks through the hallways, nervous. A familiar *ding* chimes from his phone. It was Derrick.

      “Hey man! You left some stuff over at my house, I was wondering when I could drop it off.”
“Derrick, I thought we went over this. I can’t let anybody know what happened.”
      “Nobody’s gonna know,” Derrick replied. “Besides, you can trust me.”
      “It’s fine. Just never again.”

      Nolan could not let this secret get out, especially to his parents. Both his Mom and Dad were better off not knowing. His life seemed good enough at the moment that he didn’t want anything to risk it, even if it meant sacrificing personal happiness and openness. As he arrives at his locker, he puts his books away and prepares to go home. Junior Year had already taken a toll on his mental well-being and organization, so he tried to keep clean with the minimal motivation he had left. As he got in his car to go home, a sigh of relief overcame him. Another day, another success. He drives back home, making a slight detail to drive past Derrick’s house. He could see his strong, tall frame through the front window, and a piece of him longed to be with him forever. But not now. For now, he had to remain patient, waiting for the right moment to be powered by pride. As he drives home, Doja Cat blaring from the speakers, he realizes that love only exists from those who are willing to grasp it. And for Nolan, his secret made it harder and harder to grasp. He wasn’t willing to take the risk, even if it meant that he would be happier. For now, he drove home. Waiting.
      Nolan arrives back at his house and immediately goes to his room. He turns on the water in the shower and gets ready to wash up before getting down to work. As he looks around his closet for a pair of clothes to change into, a small letter catches the corner of his eye. It was from Derrick.

Dear Nolan,

I hope you will be able to read this soon. I know that you’re nervous to be around me, but that will never work if you want to have a serious relationship. If you love me, please tell them. For us.
Love,
Derrick

Nolan reads the note again. And again. And again. For now, he takes out his phone. “Can’t do that Derrick, we’re through.” As Nolan blocks Derrick’s number on his phone, a wave of satisfaction passes over him as he realizes that his secret is safe. The End.