Einstein's Cycle

I think he makes me feel this way intentionally.
We stay up late every night talking and touching.
We connect on everything.
He kisses me everywhere.
He listens to me and cares about what I say and feel.
I think we have the real deal.
I hope this will last forever.
He's nothing like the last guy
and I know he would never
treat me like the others.
We are in love and heaven isn't high enough to reach the clouds where we sleep and dream sweet dreams.
Yet sometimes, I notice that he seems a little distant.
It's like there is something dark on his mind and I can see it in his eyes from time to time.
I've asked him to talk to me about it but he just smiles and declines.
It kinda bothers me that he doesn't want me to know what's going on in there.
I get afraid of what could be making him keep it from me.
I really really want to know what he is thinking and feeling but it's like he doesn't care.
I can't understand why he wants me to be in the dark, all alone and scared.
He said he would always be here for me and never leave but what about when I get angry?
I don't mean to be mean but he keeps ignoring me when I ask him important things.
Just thinking honestly, I wouldn't want to stay with someone acting that way.
I would leave if it were me and he will probably do it too.
It's what they always do.
I've noticed he isn't paying me much attention lately
Our sex life is suffering too because I never get what I need.
It always ends up being about what he desires from me.
And he gets whatever he wants from my body.
But how does that effect me ?
I remember he promised to take care of me.
Well, we never had an actual wedding but he says he wants to get married.  
Right now we just don't talk about it much .
It's one of those things.
Things I wonder about but he refuses to acknowledge or say anything.
Oh well.
We both cook and we both clean.  He's the first man to ever try to help me.
He even does the laundry.
It took him forever
to learn how to fold the towels and sheets.
He's much better at it now though.
He's learning a lot of new skills and makes me very proud.
Sometimes men just need to be
trained for these things.
He actually sits down to pee so the lid is never a thing.
Indeed, he's practically the perfect one for me.
If it weren't for the strange way he's been acting.
The quiet man thing and the secrecy is not working for me.  
He makes me feel rejected and undesirable.
But what could anyone expect?
I think I look nearly as big as a cow.
I don't know why anyone would want to be with me.
I simply can't understand why they pretend to be so loving and caring towards me, in the beginning.
Then they build me up higher and
higher just to bring me down, crush and destroy me.
Its gotta be some kind of male
Narcissistic, kink, bdsm
type of thing.
Every single one of them
does it too.
I believe they actually do it on purpose, for fun.
So they can laugh at me and then turn around and run.
Now he's doing it too.
I wonder if he thinks this is funny.
It was just a matter of time
I do believe he makes me
feel like this intentionally.