deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hypothymia
The sunshine, the grass, the walls; all look piss-yellow
I try every day hoping the lies would end
I go outside; feel the warmth of the sun
See the bumblebee that buzzes over the flowers
The Hummingbird looking for its fix
I might feel a little hug, but it disappears when he notices
Drags me back into the little black box
Not so little anymore; It has gotten bigger as I grew old
My eyes are laced with Ammonia, my mind can't find the cracks
My eyes are used to the burn now and water seen as worse
Vivid nightmares fling my eyes open and I turn to my right side
Praying underneath my breath hoping he will arrive
I am below the threshold line that doesn't peak or dip
I carry on coping hoping one day I will look through the little black box
Burning the ones that hold me back, keeping the ones to not forget
Shed my skin, my heart, my soul; shed it all to rise again.
I try every day hoping the lies would end
I go outside; feel the warmth of the sun
See the bumblebee that buzzes over the flowers
The Hummingbird looking for its fix
I might feel a little hug, but it disappears when he notices
Drags me back into the little black box
Not so little anymore; It has gotten bigger as I grew old
My eyes are laced with Ammonia, my mind can't find the cracks
My eyes are used to the burn now and water seen as worse
Vivid nightmares fling my eyes open and I turn to my right side
Praying underneath my breath hoping he will arrive
I am below the threshold line that doesn't peak or dip
I carry on coping hoping one day I will look through the little black box
Burning the ones that hold me back, keeping the ones to not forget
Shed my skin, my heart, my soul; shed it all to rise again.
Published 21st Jun 2021
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8th Sep 2021 9:58pm
I know the feeling so well (been doing battle for almost 40 years) but you managed to describe it in ways I wouldn't have thought of. YES to the time outside, positive thinking, stopping to smell the roses... but ultimately we sometimes have to wait. And it can feel like a very lonely place while we do.
22nd May 2022 5:42pm
