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Borrowed  Body

 
I  think my  bed
Has  bed  bugs  
That  writhe  and  nip  at  my  skin
 
They  crawl  under  
My  flesh  
And  bury  themselves  within.
 
They’ve  made  me  look  
Like  someone  else,
A  body  im  not  
Familiar  with
 
Who  has
Breasts  and  hips  and  legs  
That  wade  the  scarlet  field  beneath  her.
 
She  makes  me  green  —  
With  disgust  and  
Red  with  rage  but  then  
She  paints  me  ill.
 
I  want  to  rip  and  tear  
At  her  soft  
Satin  chest  and  
Bite  her  arms  till  they  bleed —
 
I  want  to  claw  my  way  
To  her  muscles  and  snip
At  the  soft  red  strings  of  her  being.
 
I  want  to  look  like  myself  
To  see  long  legs  and  
Broad  shoulders.
 
But  the  bed  bugs  has  made  me  
Someone  I  don’t  know,
And  she  smiles  at  me  in  the  mirror.
Written by Zenisith (Zweig)
Published | Edited 10th Jul 2021
Author's Note
I've been gone  for  a  while  because  of  school  but  here's  a  little  something  my  trans  siblings  might  relate  to.  I  have  been  struggling  more  with  dysphoria  since  I  had  to  stop  wearing  my  binder  because  I  outgrew  it  but  who  knows,  maybe  I'll  have  the  chance  to  get  top  surgery  one  day.
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