The ripple effect

that was beeeuuutiiifuuullll. <3

Thanks sweetpea! I entered this into  the ripple effect competiotion today!

Hello again, Firebyrd. Your poems consistently reveal a joy of soul in you which can't be faked, can only come from deep life experiences, like an epiphany maybe. So the content always impresses me and that's the most important thing.
On the other hand the form of your poems always seems pretty random. You use rhyme and rhythms quite strongly but it's a little difficult to pick them out, easy to miss them.
As the author, you KNOW exactly how you'd like it read but the forms you use give the reader few clues. This poem is a great example of that.  
Allow me to demonstrate how this reader would like to see it laid out, how he, after several readings, came to read it to himself.
I mean no presumption by this, I'm not saying it's a better way - just the way one reader (me) 'heard' your poem, for your amusement/consideration only.


I wish I could allow my soul
to burst into one million molecules
that a million other people
could then take
and use
to rip the skin off of
the earth's
spiritual eyes.

So Like fresh bread ...
peoples love for Life
and each other
could just rise and rise
bring wisdom back into their minds
and let knowledge shine thru
their third eyes.

I wish I could create a ripple effect
that would erase all pain, hate, and neglect,
that would cleanse our souls and let our
consciousness be free,
going into all of you
flowing directly out of
me.

It would be a tangible thing,
solid and real,
closing old wounds
with the power to heal.
It would ripple through time,
and it would ripple
through space,
leaving positive feelings
in all human beings

all over the place.

Oh that is wonderful! I swear I just LOOOOVE your critique!!!!! I wish I lived In Ireland.
Please help me to clean up my form and the way I write that is EXACTLY how I was writing it ... the way you wrote it! man OUTSTANDING
I Really LOVE writing and I would love for you to continue to talk to me about what would make me a better writier  I NEVER take offence to things you share... YOU have Much wisdom and I am a salik for knowledge TEACH me TEACH me TEach Me!

Gosh. Well, I'm sooo flattered. I should tell you that unless I really rate the work in the first place I don't comment. Your poetry has real heart and spirit. No amount of editing can give it that. My edit was almost completely technical, nuts and bolts stuff. Try this on one of your writes and see if it helps.

Conventional punctuation and grammar is not necessary in poetry. So forget about it as far as possible. Don't let the computer put a capital at the beginning of every line - it puts an emphasis where none might be intended.
To 'pace' your poem i.e. give the reader some instruction on where to pause, create emphasis etc., use the line breaks thus.
Use a single line break to indicate a short pause

Use a double line break to indicate a longer one.

As far as possible avoid using commas, full stops, repeated stops ..... , hyphens - etc. It confuses both the writer and the reader.

Give it a try on one of your old poems and see how it looks. It's very easy and very effective. My best to you and

keep writing!    R.

wonderful

I see this as a form of "pay it forward". Don't feel alone. I feel this way too. If only world wide love and peace were an option. It only takes one person to make a difference and today you did with me!

thank u so much that was a very kind remark Maam!



XOXO
Fire

I felt sorry to read it late, I find it self reflection with a truth of inspiring vibes.