deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lesson Learned
I trusted you
Believed your lies
Excused your actions
Defended your honour
My home, yours.
My income, shared
Your children, welcomed
Supported without question
Overlooked red flags
Ignored warnings signs
Surrendered my power
Abandoned my standards
Manipulated
Isolated
Abused
Mocked
Crossing your path
Falling for your charm
Accepting your number
My biggest regret
Believed your lies
Excused your actions
Defended your honour
My home, yours.
My income, shared
Your children, welcomed
Supported without question
Overlooked red flags
Ignored warnings signs
Surrendered my power
Abandoned my standards
Manipulated
Isolated
Abused
Mocked
Crossing your path
Falling for your charm
Accepting your number
My biggest regret
Published 30th Apr 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 873
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The author encourages honest critique.
30th Apr 2021 8:31pm
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Nov 2024 2:46am
30th Apr 2021 9:23pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
30th Apr 2021 11:23pm
Won't Incriminate myself, But i feel Sorry. Hope Not Much harm was done to you! : Words of a Repentant man Who has not yet completely seen the hurt he caused you.
Empaths Problem in feeling other peoples pain.
"I Can" Relate to you From his standpoint post lessons, Dunno Why; but i wish you feel better!
Empaths Problem in feeling other peoples pain.
"I Can" Relate to you From his standpoint post lessons, Dunno Why; but i wish you feel better!
It takes a big man to admit his past mistakes. You should feel proud of yourself. Thank you for sharing.
1st May 2021 4:03am
If you learned a lesson then it will be better time. Keep on writing you beautiful sexy woman.
1st May 2021 6:43pm
1st May 2021 11:45pm
This could be me
Not consciously
But nevertheless
The thought that I might cause
Similar pain in her
Hurts my heart,
Makes me sad and ashamed
But I never asked her to surrender her power - I love her power.
It was her choice to follow me into isolation - I love her being social.
But how much do we really chose?
A calculated game was played
And it seems I won
But did I really?
My ego won
My heart lost
because I lost her
although her body still walks in this same space.
What would have happened if I followed her back to our old life?
We will never know, of course, because we can't step into the same river twice.
But I was what she is now
I lost all my power
I felt manipulated
Resentful, bitter
Then someone close died too early
He dropped into eternal sleep
and by doing so,
caught me sleep-walking.
The sudden realisation and certainty of death gave me this new power
to live ecstatically, now.
I needed to move,
destroy my prision
which was her home and sanctuary.
The first and only home she ever had
It was brutal, it was painful, it was survival, it was tragic
It seemed and looked selfish
and on one plane it was
To find my true self became the golden grail
I realized she, no woman, no other person, could ever answer the only question left: Who am I?
But it wasn't intentional,
it wasn't malicious
It wasn't planned
Now I love her more than ever
because I seldom need her anymore
Now my love is free, her-centred,
not "I-need-her-centred"
She rarely sees that because
her gaze is fixed on the past,
She can only see what she has lost.
It pains me to see her pain
And I try to sooth her
But my love is too cold for her
Too eternal. Too scary.
She wants comfort in this life
Clings to this life
Searching for answers in this existence
as most people do.
If we are truly honest with ourself it becomes crystal clear that there can be no salvation or true peace in the identification with this impermanent excistence.
Everything - our lifes, the people we love, our dreams, our beliefs, our posessions - will turn to dust. Evaporate to nothingness. Literally.
It's so obvious. It's right in front of our eyes but we don't want to see it because what is the only consequence?
Total surrender to what is.
Which feels like giving up.
Becoming a leaf blown by the wind of destiny, without purpose, without direction.
Yet,
Before I become god
I first have to become a better man
But I don't have to worry about how.
My painful mistakes will boil me humble Destiny is the Bunsenbrenner.
My body is the vessel
My mind needs to be evapurated.
My heart eaten by those starving souls.
Not consciously
But nevertheless
The thought that I might cause
Similar pain in her
Hurts my heart,
Makes me sad and ashamed
But I never asked her to surrender her power - I love her power.
It was her choice to follow me into isolation - I love her being social.
But how much do we really chose?
A calculated game was played
And it seems I won
But did I really?
My ego won
My heart lost
because I lost her
although her body still walks in this same space.
What would have happened if I followed her back to our old life?
We will never know, of course, because we can't step into the same river twice.
But I was what she is now
I lost all my power
I felt manipulated
Resentful, bitter
Then someone close died too early
He dropped into eternal sleep
and by doing so,
caught me sleep-walking.
The sudden realisation and certainty of death gave me this new power
to live ecstatically, now.
I needed to move,
destroy my prision
which was her home and sanctuary.
The first and only home she ever had
It was brutal, it was painful, it was survival, it was tragic
It seemed and looked selfish
and on one plane it was
To find my true self became the golden grail
I realized she, no woman, no other person, could ever answer the only question left: Who am I?
But it wasn't intentional,
it wasn't malicious
It wasn't planned
Now I love her more than ever
because I seldom need her anymore
Now my love is free, her-centred,
not "I-need-her-centred"
She rarely sees that because
her gaze is fixed on the past,
She can only see what she has lost.
It pains me to see her pain
And I try to sooth her
But my love is too cold for her
Too eternal. Too scary.
She wants comfort in this life
Clings to this life
Searching for answers in this existence
as most people do.
If we are truly honest with ourself it becomes crystal clear that there can be no salvation or true peace in the identification with this impermanent excistence.
Everything - our lifes, the people we love, our dreams, our beliefs, our posessions - will turn to dust. Evaporate to nothingness. Literally.
It's so obvious. It's right in front of our eyes but we don't want to see it because what is the only consequence?
Total surrender to what is.
Which feels like giving up.
Becoming a leaf blown by the wind of destiny, without purpose, without direction.
Yet,
Before I become god
I first have to become a better man
But I don't have to worry about how.
My painful mistakes will boil me humble Destiny is the Bunsenbrenner.
My body is the vessel
My mind needs to be evapurated.
My heart eaten by those starving souls.
You certainly have a way with words and honest too I must say.. Rather than "i need her centred" wow... If only!!
Love is beautiful when both individuals have enough for themselves and contribute more then they extract.... That's when real love blossoms.
If one withdraws more than their fair share it leaves the other empty. That emptyness spreads like cancer and slowly they begin to retreat and lose themselves.
Amazing write, thank you.
Love is beautiful when both individuals have enough for themselves and contribute more then they extract.... That's when real love blossoms.
If one withdraws more than their fair share it leaves the other empty. That emptyness spreads like cancer and slowly they begin to retreat and lose themselves.
Amazing write, thank you.
3rd May 2021 2:03am
8th May 2021 9:24am
Isn't it strange how we stay in situations for so long that we know we should walk away from. Trouble is we get trapped, we get so far along a certain road that it becomes almost impossible to turn back. We do that only when things become so bad we cannot stand it any longer, if only we didn't have to leave it until then.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
31st May 2021 11:57pm
<< post removed >>
3rd Jun 2021 11:48am
You beautifully captured the devastation of deception. Next to last verse with single word lines drove it home. Powerful!
3rd Jun 2021 11:53am
1st Jan 2022 3:40am
