Four months of court

It has been four months of court
I will not lie
Love has been tested
I've even twice tried to die
Yet you were the judge
And your friends are the jury
I hope i get off easy
But I'm in no hurry
Take your time
You'll learn to hate me
Just leave me behind
And see what I see
Sometimes I've hated you
And cried out your name
Sometimes I blame you for my pain
Then cut myself in shame
These are things you would never know
If you asked me dear swan
But because my mask is down
My heart will finally show
What you've questioned for ever
Since the moment we kissed
Will I love you forever?
Well you tell me judge,
Is it a life sentence?
Or do I get off on probation?
Whether or
It doesn't matter to me
Life is a joke
And sometimes you are too
But hey guess what
That's just my way of testing and showing
How much,
I really love you
My swan💘