past and present

Muted sounds out of a muffled mouth. As you clamped your hand over his mouth. I clutched the blankets closer to my chest and ( BANG!) And I cried. And they dragged him away, and their jackets smelt like authority. He tried to assure me, and his medicated body slumped against mine in a hug before you took him away, and you yelled. And he snuck around, but some pills were involved. You never told me why he went away. My sister and I were on the swing set, still thinking, wondering where he was. She stole the open folder from under your nose. I got to see him in the hospital. He couldn’t have my present.
It was a necklace I made for him.
His hand was broken from punching through a wall, and We laughed, but his body was alien to me. I was the only one who wasn’t in his embrace. Soon he was gone for months. And my parents told me not to open my mouth. And then I was muffled too. Slipped secrets collected in my head. We started hiding medications in the closet and he was manic.









Hide away the pills from my faded accused hands, afraid of your own addiction in my head
And just so you know the screaming you did, didn’t bail your roommate out of hell. It just brought you both closer to a place where no one listens and obedience is injected in your brains. Maybe you could save the ambulance ride and try to cry in the pit of a clinic and throw a little fit infront of the sheets on his neck and the marks in your brain. You can’t make memories out of scar tissue you dreamt last night. Are you occupado in the utero where he penetrated you with the drugs that made you give in. where the knife stabbed back and forth and through the stomach when you threw up the lie from your imaginationto your mouth. How long did it take you to decide to be different, and hold onto scars that aren’t yours and steal my brother in a hurricane of your self pity and shamen herbs. In your throat, through your nose. I guess all the morals left too. Just waiting for the right man to mess with your mind.