"everythang is hazy"

I keep staring
the screen keeps glaring..

"Everything is hazyyy"
eyes glazed over..
dead in a daze..
how many days shall
I wade through wistfully,
staying blissfully distracted..

What can I say I'm a little depraved
enslaved to my habits,
caged in madness
knowing I hold the key to release myself, to cease from creating hate and fear
which I still find flowing in here..

Knowing Nirvana is near
and held within
I keep
 bringing on the hellish atmospheres,
clinging to helpess and disastrous fears
unable to quell this restlessness..

"Heavy heart"
and the weariness weighs down..
You must sit with these waves..
still in the quiet moments
let them wash over you
without deciding to drown..

"Heavy heart"
don't let it start to decay so soon
make some room to revitalize,
to recognize you hold the power
to heal yourself..
In mind in soul
even while held up in a mental cell
or if your body's broken down,
it ain't hard to tell
the heart feels the effects
when the mind dwells and
 never finally settles..

Tension echoes through your being
you stay blinded from seeing
it's a decision..
this lack of visions
and absence of
determination
leaves you stuck in some stagnant state
where you sit stunned in silence
yearning to vacate this dimension..