5:40am watching the sun come up

falling through the universe while i fall for the stars in your eyes. take me to a world that only you can see and we can fall back, back to the sky. count the silhouettes of trees and measure the distance from your hand to mine.
when the sun comes up it casts a shadow between us and we're both so afraid of the dark. the sky grows light around us yet we remain only outlines for a while more. wind your fingers through the clouds and pull, push your thumbs into the stars until you burn up or they burn out.
blink and find the sun crawling back to the sky like a dying man to the ocean like me to you. the sky is stained and the moment is lost. the stars hide beneath their sheets and color bleeds into the frail grey of dawn. easy to forget when the sky is this blue easy to forget that i'm becoming you.
pale yellow the glow falls onto you now. are you an angel? stare at the sun for too long and you'll find nothing is clear. what would you call that colour that the sky becomes just before the sun is up? you know, between blue fading briefly before returning even brighter, and the slowly rising gold which shines so brightly but is gone so fast.
there's a colour in there which i can't put a name to. i suppose it looks like grey, but no. there's something there that i can't identify with words. (you know how it scares me when i can't find the words i want) i've spent hours trying to recreate that colour, with paint and with poetry, but maybe i'm not supposed to. maybe i'm not meant to find it, maybe i was never meant to find you. i don't think i'll stop trying though.
because one day when i find that colour, i'll paint the world with dawn, and we can hide in our silhouettes forever with the trees and the broken streetlight outside of your house. please be careful though. blink, and the sun is up, blink, and we both see clearly again.