daddy issues

so many negative thoughts people say about someone who has daddy issues
so i will like to talk about this
i think fo myself i have always needed reassurance may come across as needy
my biggest fear is when somebody just disappears

i don't have any communication with my own father
i was let down
so its no bother
i feel im better alone all around

i have always imagine a person cuddling with me never letting me go
i like the attention on me
someone who would not fold
where is he

sometimes when it comes to intimacy it's hard
if i start to pleasure myself with a vibrator i will start to panic
i dont really understand it
makes me feel frantic

i don't trust anyone
especially, men, they have hurt me in some way
i don't think their fun
they never hear what i say

i always find flaws in others
i like to run away
when things are to good to be true
because they will leave even though i want them to stay

I'm working on these insecurities
working on healing my bad parts
i know i have to depend on myself to be happy
but im carefull with my heart