deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drowning In Thoughts
I feel like I’m drowning
In a world so hopeless
Like my mind is just plunging deep into the abyss
I feel my lungs fill with water
Making breathing impossible
As my mind spirals farther into the darkness
My body is fighting
But my mind has already given up
Accepting the fact that I can’t reach the surface
Knowing I’m going to drown
Right here
Alone
With nothing but my thoughts
In a world so hopeless
Like my mind is just plunging deep into the abyss
I feel my lungs fill with water
Making breathing impossible
As my mind spirals farther into the darkness
My body is fighting
But my mind has already given up
Accepting the fact that I can’t reach the surface
Knowing I’m going to drown
Right here
Alone
With nothing but my thoughts
Published 21st Sep 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
Awww... This is heartwrenchingly relatable. I deal with depression myself, so I know that feeling well. You did a good job at creatively describing the feeling here... It's really good. Hang in there, you aren't alone, even though it may feel like that sometimes ❤️
I am here to listen if you need someone. Great poem. Keep on fighting to get into the light. Keep on writing.
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Sep 2020 5:51pm
23rd Sep 2020 5:49pm
Hey, I almost drowned in a public pool when I was 7 or 8 for realz. Was rescued by a lifeguard. Pushed my luck diving into the deep end thinking I could hump it all the way to the shallow end where it was safe.
You're a poet. You don't need the word "like". While it comes in handy once in a great while, it is usually unnecessary. Because ... metaphor.
"I am drowning
In a world so hopeless
My mind is plunging deep into abyss"
There you go, with a few other words trimmed out. If you say it this way, we will still know you aren't really drowning, but at least we can better appreciate how you feel without "the comparison".
You're a poet. You don't need the word "like". While it comes in handy once in a great while, it is usually unnecessary. Because ... metaphor.
"I am drowning
In a world so hopeless
My mind is plunging deep into abyss"
There you go, with a few other words trimmed out. If you say it this way, we will still know you aren't really drowning, but at least we can better appreciate how you feel without "the comparison".
25th Sep 2020 10:04pm
Love the meaning behind this and I can relate to it way more than I can Express
3rd Oct 2020 4:19am
