Spit it out, it's an asshole!

Don't be mad when I get what I want and it's not you
I waited for months, hoping, but you never came through
I sit in agony, holding my feelings like crushed glass
This isn't the first and I know it won't be the last
I swallow my pride much like I swallowed you too
With enough ferver to not let my feelings get through
I'm not weak but I know I'm not strong willed
My constant obsessions have nearly gotten me killed
My feelings for you are something I hate
I want you so badly, I'm liable to break
Devouring obsession lays me to waste
Forgotten the feeling, forgotten your taste
Without a distraction, it's taken a toll
Ripping my heart out, just eat me whole
I care about you and it twists inside
Everything that's true is buried in lies
I smile through the tears in my eyes
I can't pursue what isn't meant to be mine