deepundergroundpoetry.com
Suicidal But Afraid Of Dying
I'm afraid of Dying but I also am Suicidal
I'm afraid of unknown puzzle of death
Scared of the silence and the solitude
How is one suicidal but afraid of Dying
Leaving all my loved ones with pain and heartache
Trying to escape my suffering and torment
Inches from slitting my wrists but just can't do it
I'm fucking crazy being suicidal but afraid of Dying
Scared of the darkness and the cold
Scared of never hearing music again
Scared of never seeing the sunset again
Scared of dying but I'm suicidal
After dying just being placed six feet in the ground
A stone with my name but not word about my pain
A families grievance saying they wished they had known
They don't have to worry I'm suicidal but afraid of Dying
I'll continue suffering and keep on crying
Pretending that my insides aren't crumbling
Hiding behind a forced smile and caked on make-up
I'll continue being suicidal but afraid of Dying
I'm afraid of unknown puzzle of death
Scared of the silence and the solitude
How is one suicidal but afraid of Dying
Leaving all my loved ones with pain and heartache
Trying to escape my suffering and torment
Inches from slitting my wrists but just can't do it
I'm fucking crazy being suicidal but afraid of Dying
Scared of the darkness and the cold
Scared of never hearing music again
Scared of never seeing the sunset again
Scared of dying but I'm suicidal
After dying just being placed six feet in the ground
A stone with my name but not word about my pain
A families grievance saying they wished they had known
They don't have to worry I'm suicidal but afraid of Dying
I'll continue suffering and keep on crying
Pretending that my insides aren't crumbling
Hiding behind a forced smile and caked on make-up
I'll continue being suicidal but afraid of Dying
Published 25th Aug 2020
Author's Note
Another poem about my struggle with depression
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
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comments 12
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26th Aug 2020 1:13am
You struggle with that depression still. But what do you do (or can you do) in a concrete fashion: talk with the doctor, the social worker, the priest?
26th Aug 2020 2:01am
26th Aug 2020 2:07am
26th Aug 2020 4:31am
Keep the faith my friend. Your depression will pass and the world will look bright and colorful again. Never give up because things will get better. Antidepressants might be just the thing to restore your outlook on life.
Hugs,
John
Hugs,
John
26th Aug 2020 5:24am
You keep fighting to get to the light, find a friend to talk to. Keep on writing.
26th Aug 2020 5:25am
26th Aug 2020 9:21am
You're writing about it, so thats good. Thank you for sharing, youre truly not alone
20th Sep 2020 10:19pm
Oh that's such a shame. I really thought you were happy now with your life. :-(
23rd Sep 2020 00:59am
I am happy now but sometimes reflecting on my past brings out poems like this.
Yeah, I think you'll be ok cos you're doing things the right way, seeking help when you need it. It can't be easy revisiting events & that is why a lot of people never confront their problems.
It proves you are a strong person.
It proves you are a strong person.
28th Feb 2021 3:18pm
