deepundergroundpoetry.com

Ripped Me Apart
Defenses Down,
Calm All Around..
At Peace,
At Rest,
Until A Hand,
Forces Itself,
Straight Into My Chest..
I Gasp,
I Pant,
I Fight For Air,
As Hard As I Try,
There's Nothing There..
Excruciating Pain,
My Nerves In Overdrive,
Channelling Signals,
My Heart Slowly Being Withdrawn,
Escaping My Shell,
Blood Falling,
Hitting The Floor,
I Try To Run,
I Turn To The Door..
I Look Up,
A Tight Grip Squeezing The Nucleus Of My Soul,
Panic Striken,
I Freeze,
An Age Passes Me By,
I Look Up And See The Happiness In Her Eye..
A Pile Of Organs Sitting Beside Her,
A Collection,
A Mound Of Blood Soaked Body Parts,
She Used,
Her Game,
Body’s Left Abused,
Limbs Unused..
I Fall On My Face,
Another Victim,
Fatality,
The Game You Played,
Simply Brutality,
I Let Down My Guard,
You Pounced,
You Charged,
You Took My Soul,
You Took My Heart,
My Lifeless Corpse,
Taken Apart..
Calm All Around..
At Peace,
At Rest,
Until A Hand,
Forces Itself,
Straight Into My Chest..
I Gasp,
I Pant,
I Fight For Air,
As Hard As I Try,
There's Nothing There..
Excruciating Pain,
My Nerves In Overdrive,
Channelling Signals,
My Heart Slowly Being Withdrawn,
Escaping My Shell,
Blood Falling,
Hitting The Floor,
I Try To Run,
I Turn To The Door..
I Look Up,
A Tight Grip Squeezing The Nucleus Of My Soul,
Panic Striken,
I Freeze,
An Age Passes Me By,
I Look Up And See The Happiness In Her Eye..
A Pile Of Organs Sitting Beside Her,
A Collection,
A Mound Of Blood Soaked Body Parts,
She Used,
Her Game,
Body’s Left Abused,
Limbs Unused..
I Fall On My Face,
Another Victim,
Fatality,
The Game You Played,
Simply Brutality,
I Let Down My Guard,
You Pounced,
You Charged,
You Took My Soul,
You Took My Heart,
My Lifeless Corpse,
Taken Apart..
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likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 22
reads 991
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Comment
Anonymous
21st Jan 2012 10:08pm
Seems like you've had a bit of suppressed feelings and now you're letting them flood out.
Good write, I like the rhyme.
Good write, I like the rhyme.
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re: Comment
awesome
21st Jan 2012 11:43pm
i really like the topic you wrote about and the feelings and details you put into it made me want to sympathize with you all the more great write
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Goodness...
24th Jan 2012 3:18am
She didn't deserve u honey... move right on to the next, baby, cause like my na-na used to say, there's plenty of fish in the sea...;) u nailed it, heart break and hurt in this and it's wonderfully written. :)
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Wow!
Anonymous
24th Jan 2012 8:37pm
I feel like I could feel your pain like it was mine. You express feelings and emotions very well. Great write!! Take care, Gail
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re: Wow!
24th Jan 2012 8:41pm
Great poem
24th Jan 2012 10:50pm
I really enjoyed this poem because I think that many can relate but only some could have put it down in words so beautiful and vivid...it happens too often, we don't realise we've been played until the game is over. Great job and keep writing.
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Ripped me Apart
26th Jan 2012 00:18am
Nicely written, Clayton. It's fast-paced and full of truth. I felt like I was in the room with you, watching it all happen. Outstanding.
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re: Ripped me Apart
26th Jan 2012 6:45pm
re: re: Ripped me Apart
26th Jan 2012 10:28pm
Photo
26th Jan 2012 10:29pm
I just noticed the heart in that photo is a poorly photo shopped nerf football...
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re: Photo
26th Jan 2012 11:09pm
Lol..
Well move back a bit from the screen...
and squint...
Then it looks like heart :o)
Well move back a bit from the screen...
and squint...
Then it looks like heart :o)
re: re: Photo
27th Jan 2012 10:49am
Thumbs up
29th Jan 2012 9:45pm
A vivid scene painted with well expressed emotions. I very much enjoyed this. Well done.
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re: Thumbs up
29th Jan 2012 9:52pm
Thank you so much..
I wish I hadnt wrote it as then I wouldnt have lived it..
But thank you
I wish I hadnt wrote it as then I wouldnt have lived it..
But thank you
Wow
13th Feb 2012 2:08am
re: Wow
13th Feb 2012 8:17am
re: Re: Ripped Me Apart
21st May 2012 5:43pm
Re. Ripped Me Apart
1st Mar 2019 9:43am
Wowzers, it sounds like you were hurt & destroyed by a relationship. Can relate. Nice Work, liked.
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Re: Re. Ripped Me Apart
1st Mar 2019 9:47am