Chameleons

Come close enough,
Stay near long enough,
Pull me in tight enough,
And if you listen hard enough,
You will hear the tears falling in my heart beat.

The tears that I don’t know how to cry out loud,
The anxious hopes that are too terrible to give voice,
The agonies of yesterdays swept up in torrents of nightmares,
The unrelenting determination to find joy again,
The terror that there is none left in the world to find.

Hold my hand gently enough,
Caress my thumb with yours just right,
And you will feel the fault lines tremble,
The careful construct of poise and strength will shake,
You will feel my stitches give way to chasm.

Stroke my hair softly enough,
Whispering kindness barely loud enough,
Holding me still against you long enough,
And you will see the un-me, the hidden and the abandoned,
You will touch the untouchable and greet the creature behind the mask.

The beauty of the avatar is in the hiding,
The chameleon’s beautiful display,
Merging and submerging into ordinary, everyday life,
Never moving fast enough to draw the eye,
Or hold the attention of predators.

Only other chameleons.