deepundergroundpoetry.com
Gift
Packaged
parcelled
with ribbons
and bows
Tagged
with card
of words
Unknown
Happiness
and love
beyond
compare
What gift
To have
and cherish
and care
This kind
of love
so rare
so true
I wish
it was
with me
and you
parcelled
with ribbons
and bows
Tagged
with card
of words
Unknown
Happiness
and love
beyond
compare
What gift
To have
and cherish
and care
This kind
of love
so rare
so true
I wish
it was
with me
and you
Published 5th Jul 2020
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likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 576
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Jul 2020 9:38pm
The short lines give such a stream of consciousness feel to the poem ... keep a quick cadence with great flow ... nice tight write ...
5th Jul 2020 11:07pm
5th Jul 2020 9:47pm
That's lovely, a gift we all wished we could receive, love in a bow great idea, a wish we all have
Great job xx
Great job xx
5th Jul 2020 11:08pm
5th Jul 2020 10:51pm
I agree with lildragonfly, short lines worked well with this piece. Nice go.
5th Jul 2020 11:09pm
5th Jul 2020 11:16pm
Been there, done that. Just a process of finding what works for you. This did!
6th Jul 2020 5:28am
6th Jul 2020 11:13am
ouch. surgical, succinct and beautifully eloquent. your tears say it all and your pain is my pain
