FOURTEEN GOING ON FORTY

all those years,
that boy
pretended --
his soul scarred,
inflexible

stunted

stuck

the body ages
and the losses mount
but it's the same old pain
relived
and some boys
aspire to manhood
well into their golden years
and then just die trying

and god knows
he was always trying

always
in too deep
always
broke
or broken
but talking the
big talk
and when she finally left
and took the kids
there was only drink
and meth
and those boys
with their bullshit
and he learned
time spent
doing time
was just gone
and "goddamn, son"
is all he heard
like a echo
reverberating,
sparking
nerve to nerve,
his destiny
wound tight
and the clock
ticking
like a bomb