Oooopsy

 
 
He who experiences much cruelty  
from childhood to adulthood and beyond  
does not visit deliberate cruelty  
on others; only does it to himself  
tortured by the demons of the past  
on a daily basis - they mostly come at night  
alone in the dark; mood is the driver  
can take you down many wrong paths  
they are always roads downwards  
that lead to the pit of hell  
a child forced will always be a victim  
he has the mark of the beast  
he will always suffer alone  
he will always be a victim victimised  
hounded by narcissistic entities  
who seem to be attracted to this doormat  
Usery and abuse is ok with him  
it is all he has ever known  
and it will be all he will know  
from the cradle to the grave  
the drugs don't work, not ever  
he moves from cutting to stabbing  
there is only one last step  
but he is too afraid to go there  
despite the voices in his head  
Like poets before, they say  
"Be like Nike and Just Do It"  
but this legless cowboy is not ready  
to push up the daisies at Boot Hill  
 
the cuts didn't let the demons or the evil out  
the stabbing apart from being painful - no respite  
Nothing works, nothing can beat the darkness  
it swallows him whole, it gets inside to fill  
it fogs up my home and his very existence  
there are no lights in the deep dark of the tunnel  
and not even a family member gives a fuck  
they torture him with their absence  
a love rejected from those who should love  
from those who should care; but not a jot  
he is wracked with pain, both physical and mental  
the mental is far worse cause way more scars  
scars that don't heal; heart and head  
his life that is left will be lived in isolation  
he consigns himself to the darkness and victimhood  
he doesn't need to play the victim card  
because he has been a victim all his life  
 
the leopard can't change his spots  
a zebra can't change its stripes  
and he cannot change what life has made him  
He is so very tired; tired of being tired  
sick of being sick and tired, tired of being sick  
when he finally shuffles of his mortal coil  
they will have to deal with their deserved guilt  
He could name names, but not now, that's for later  
the names of offenders will be published  
on so many sites in fact especially his own site  
Justice will have to seen to be done  
His last will and testement has strict instructions  
he would happily leave this world  
but two people keep him here  
his adopted family - missy and Ethan  
he would not hurt them in this way  
suicide is literally off the table  
he love them both dearly  
there other poets that I love too  
Ragnar, Ash, Taryn, Pandora Unleashed,  
Daniel, Mysterious lady, Dark Enchantress,  
Lagertha, Valeriya, he is sorry if he forgot to remember  
these people are lighthouses anchoring him to  
This Life