Parents

The complexity, the complications of a relationship, as old as you are.
Their characteristics become intrinsic,
Genomes that mutate and grow,
But god only knows what might skip or show,
The path that you'll go with their guidance to lead the way.
Faith.
Complete trust in their decisions.
No other point in life that you're in this position.
Loyalty, bound by naivety, as it should be,
For only my mum and dad could ever love me more than me.
And fuck.
Weren't those times sweet.
Memories, flecks that appear hazy but happy.
Picking out the poignant bits from years
And what they meant to me,
Shut my eyes, awaken and I'm 34 years deep.
My brain forgetting, maybe repressing
All of the painful parts,
Them splitting up, becoming separate,
Individual shards.
I wonder if yours are still together, you see them as a two.
I can't imagine mine being anything other than alone.
But such love I lived in.
And it's funny, cos those two people that born me,
Had their own dreams, their own ideas, their own beliefs.
Yet their identity I see, is of a lady dancing every morning.
A man having infinite patience as I desecrated a kitchen, making a mess I loving presented as my cooking.
Have I stopped to look into either one of them?
No.

Still their kid though.
With kids of my own.
Live in a house yet consider my mama's my home.
Still give a fuck what dad thinks,
though I'm old and I'm grown,
And yet wonder why, do I even care?
So confused, at what stage do we make the transition,
A paradigm, now parenting in their position,
But when are we considered present
And their opinions irrelevant?
Is their an age limit that diminishes the years of that mild resentment?
A turning point, say it's Christmas, and I buy a bigger present.
And like that, dynamic disregarded in a token gesture.
A mild mannered measure.
A moment I'll go on and forget.
Not recognising it signifies the times I'll later mull on and reflect.
A countdown of what's left.
In my own life, and the fear of theres.
How you have to grow to realise all that you'll ever have.
My mum, my dad.
Forevermore my biggest fans.
Appreciating all they've ever done as I mature and understand.
Your dreams, your plans, your life are in no way their demands.
Only you can truly shape yourself, whilst carving out your path.
I speak half truths though, I know I'll never be alone.
For where either of my two are will still always be my home.