empty smile

Staring for hours
at my little friend, the one that makes things better
the one that makes the pain go away
[i]if only for a little while[/i]
no one needs to know the secret
no one needs to try and help
It's not like I would want it anyway
Frustration and anger built up
swelling in my chest
slowly bubbling over and flowing out crimson red
a relief is filled
followed by a hearbreaking numbness
the kind that keeps you silent
the kind that forces you to smile though there is nothing funny
Pretend like everything is okay--though nothing is
Act like you can handle anything--while inside you're cracking like glass
You have to help everyone with there problems,but oh wait..
You realize you have your own. And you can't handle them.
But it doesn't matter for relief is found in this friend
the one that opens you up and pours you out
It leaves you feeling different,cold
Empty
Pain seems like the only relief recently while everything seems to fall apart before your eyes
You can't show weakness while everyone is so vulnerable
Being there for others is what you're supposed to do best
This friend--is becoming more and more relied on
The only escape, the only fix
The only way you seem to be able to handle things
Why bother fighting?
    When you've already given up.