PAIN

What is pain?
pain is what you feel when you fall,
bump a knee and start to bleed.
Pain is something everyone has to feel.
you wont know the true meaning of happiness without feeling the aches of the greatest pains, again and again.
Pain causes us to stumble.
If we are patient and observant.
we are able to catch ourselves,
and really wont hurt at all!

It is what causes my blood to race,
my heartbeats faster,
breathing comes to a weez,
sweat sits on my skin,
as it starts to bead.

blood pressure is at an abnormal high.
Usually set off by a weap.
this time, it was created by a scream,
so evil you would of thought the devil rose from beneath.

As a kid, there was a time i would shed tears.
Come teenage years,
i found an uncontrollable anger,
causing me to be violent.
violence created a home, broken,
like all the promises i was promised

Dishonest,? honestly why should i be honest? when no one is honest with me.
Criminal is what im labeled,
creating more problems.
even though, i thought they would suffice.

Belief is something i learned not to believe in,
im in constant prayer for change.
but its left on a table awaiting a welcoming hand.
The only hands out i see,
is from beggers as i hand them some change.

Life is supposed to be enjoyable whats there to enjoy when i see so many lives being destroyed.
I stay focused, so i can hide my emotions i keep going through the daily motions.

I was a troubled teen.
but whats so troubling,
is i keep a twinkle in my eye,
a disguise as i smile
but subtly so sunddenly it will turn to a frown.
Unleashing a beast that i try to hide,
controlled by my inner demons.
Rebellious acts is me screaming for them to free me.

Begging for someone to understand but if they dont take the time to understand it,
they will never understand me.
Dont burn your bridges, and be forgiving for your past like water under the bridge.
The waters rising quickly to the bridge that im under, standing.

Will i sink to dead weight to the bottom of the stream, or can my will to survive allow me to swim free to safety?
alone and unnerved faced with indecision not even a companion to help save me.
In a forever battle between sink or swim.
Ive been lucky to have the strength in my will to keep on going.
Stroke for stroke i barely stay afloat, lifes is draining me quicker than the sand, as it pours through my hourglass.
Mindful there will be a time im found when the riverbed is dry, and my clock will tick its last tock, so i prepare myself for the hour i can no longer swim.