Dark Days

See as of late...

My mind been in a dark place..

Wondering if I should test Mark's fate....

And walk through the park late...

Wondering if I had suicidal thoughts? Chances are great...

I'll give you 3 guesses on my thoughts lets call it a parlay..

Looked at a knife wondered if it would go through me smoother than parkay...

Guess the only way to find out is the hard way...

People say the sun comes out after a dark day...

I'm just wondering cause I been playing this on repeat like an arcade..

Days have started to blend into one..

Trying to see the end so I can know when this will be done...

Hard to fall asleep, but when I do first feeling upon waking is the same...

Over and over again like a video game...

Falling asleep is death, so a new life begins upon waking..

You go throughout the day with a facade, and by the end of the day it begins breaking..

This is a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break..

I just continue my days being fake..

On the exterior it seems like everything is all A1..

But I feel the same if not worse than day one..

People ask how I'm doing from time to time..

And all I say is I'm fine...

All because I rather fight my own demons.

Due to my own reasons..

Got my inside voices screaming...

But only I can hear those voices..

Got me debating over my choices..

Continue to fight this fight or just succumb to this disease..

All I can say is please...

And hope that these dark days leave..

Until then I guess just got to grin and bear it...

Depression is disease and don't pass judgement if you never had to wear it...

It's a disease that will mess with your mind...

It's hard to leave thoughts behind..

It brings everything to the forefront...

All you can really do with these thoughts is try to avoid them..

Instead of dealing with this I rather die from boredom..

People say therapists are the answer but what about the people that can't afford them..

All I'm saying is if you know someone battling this mental illness just keep a close eye..

Cause suicide is in the top 10 reasons for why people die..

I deal with it on a on again off again basis..

Some people deal with it daily you will just never know by looking at their faces..

It's not hard to reach out and see how someone is feeling..

Just check on your loved ones before you find them hanging from the ceiling...

I wrote this to release some of my own thoughts but also shed light on this situation..

I haven't written in a while but I thought I'd show my face for this occasion...