What Awaits? (NaPo #27/30)

I go to sleep, eyes greeted with the darkness just before dreams,
But this time, the darkness, darker than any of my dreams,
Takes hold of me,
Won't let go of me,
Stays with me after awaking,
After eating,
After fighting,
After everything...
...It's still there,
My mind running in circles but going nowhere.
I can feel the gears in my head turn
Towards that thing for which I have begun to yearn.
What awaits me when the gears stop turning?
When my mind stops thinking,
And sends my muscles into doing?
What am I capable of?
Where will hide, the peace dove?
My anger boils inside me,
It frightens me,
But if I can't scare others with my dark deeds and ideas,
Then I can scare myself with my wicked ideas.
I am not (that) bad, and I am not going to hurt or kill myself,
But I wish that I could worry others for myself.
If I can't worry them, then I'll worry me,
Of what I am to be.
What will happen when I bloody that final battlefield,
My mage staff I wield,
To bring down the Arch Demon,
Will I die, or save all of Ferelden and Thedas, and be a champion?