School and Corona

My school wants me to do the work without the pressure.
My mental health is deteriorating quicker.
Because I'm stuck inside forced to work when work was all ways my mental issue, but at least with school I had a counsler or a friend to see physically.
Now the only people I get to see is my family.
I've had more mental breakdowns and panic attacks more then I ever had before this year.
Now I'm wanting to cut and bleed.
I know I shouldn't because of people who want me to succeed.
I want to die it's better then staying alive.
My friends would not want me to take that dive.
All this work is hurting me and this may sound lazy or like I'm spoiled but I can't do it anymore.
I'm tired of the lies I'm told.
I'm tired of the uselessness it holds.
Sure 1-3 classes that sound like I need in my life.
I assure you that's still enough to want me to get a knife.
Math I can do 1+2 simple and easy but it still makes me queasy.
History I sit and take notes and some reading.
I can't use the fact George Washington was good at leading.
PE and health sure I learn about the amount of muscles in my body and how to work them myself. nothing about birds and the bees with STDs with how condoms help.
Science with facts with tests, bees and birds nests.
Nothing useful to me locked Indoors besides fighting little pests.
English and grammer I could use this be a good writer?!
No I don't need grammer or spelling to be a good writer all it takes is an idea and some paper.
How about no class at all perhaps my mental will get better.
I could stay in my zone without the fear of being called a quitter.
Finally something that could help a good idea one that actually could succeed and not end in death.