Coping mechanisms

Lately I've been feeling low,
I need to find a way to cope.
I've been seeing myself dangling from a rope.
There's a hole in my soul.
It gets bigger every time I realize I'm all alone.

All my bottled up emotions are about to explode.
I'm drowning in an endless ocean,
Depression and anxiety on my shoulders,
I can't seem to stay afloat.

They say happiness is a decision and I've been trying to live it so,
But after one too many failed attempts I don't have much of hope.

As I'm getting older,
The world seems to get colder.
Built walls around my heart hoping they might bring me closure.
But loneliness started to creep in and it's getting closer.

My coping mechanism are not working I need a hand.
But I've burnt all my bridges,
No one to call when I need a friend.

I need to find a way to make it to another day.
Rehab, relapse, repeat
Nothing seems to change.
People around me change and I'm the one that stays the same.
I've seen too many backs turned on me and I'm to blame.

I can't continue this way,
I need to find better coping mechanisms.
My faulty mechanisms don't seem work,
One too many bottles,
Silence, solitude and the room in my head,
Don't seem to get me anywhere.

I need to find anything
Before life presumes me dead.