Confusion

Confusion
The one feeling I hate the most
I like logical answers
So being confused hurts me more than pain
Struggling with my sexuality
Is something I never saw coming
I live in a small community
Were everyone is straight
And some people are not kind to those who are not
It never occurred to me
That I could be different
But here I am
Realizing I’m pansexual

Part of me wants to deny it
To not tell anyone
Hide it away
Only show attraction to males

The other part thinks that is ridiculous
I shouldn’t care what others think
My sexuality has nothing to do with them
I am me

I have so many questions
And no one to go to
I don’t know how to deal with this
There is no lgbtq+ community here
I don’t know what to do