Unloved, Always

I have never been in love.
I have never felt butterflies dancing in my stomach as the room stands still.
I have never found eyes to be entranced by,
Or a face to memorize,
Or a voice that sounds like sweet music to only me.
I haven’t had that moment of clarity when your life feels perfect
That moment when you can’t imagine another day without them.
I haven’t had any of it.

All I have is wanting.

I want a person to come into my life and stay.
I want to be able to look at them and say "I love you" and mean it.
I want to be kissed,
I want to have my hair brushed gently from my face,
I want to have tender touches and gentle whispers
I want to laugh and cry with them,
I want them to hold me close so I can feel complete.

But all I feel is a hole in my chest,
An empty void that I cannot get rid of
Something that hurts me,
Day and night.

This emptiness inside me only pulls me further from affection.
It drains my hopes for a connection
And all I am left with is the idea of love that can never be captured.

I am stuck with infinite loneliness
And infinite pain.

When all I want is to love someone
And to finally be loved back.