The Struggle Within

Teased and bullied as a kid
Too afraid to fight back so I ran and hid
Stuffed down all my hurt and anger
Nobody knew, nor did I
That I was headed for danger....in danger from....mostly myself
All because I didn't like the way I felt
The scars on my arms leftover from the pain
Pain manifested by my own brain
The demons that live there, they whisper to me
Filling my head with lies, yet I still believe
Words of hatred and self-rejection
For years fueling my drug use and depression
They're so hungry they feed on me every chance they get
What they make me do I always regret
I know I'm better than this, I've heard it before
But all that good stuff, the demons tell me to ignore
Too scared to ever ask for help
So used to being able to take care of myself
Well, look how far that got me
I turned into a fucking junkie
So many years wasted getting high
Broke myself down mentally so much that I wanted to die
Today sometimes....I still do
Sick of all the bullshit I go through
If you can't look forward to tomorrow what's the point of today
I want to leave this earth but something is making me stay